It's been a long time since I've posted, so my update will be in chunks, necessarily focusing this blog more than usual. So enjoy it. The ADD returns soon.

I feel almost guilty mentioning this, since several of my friends are going through breakups at the moment, but what the hell. Here's my attempt to balance the scales. About a month ago, I started dating a gal, and she's kinda fantastic. Don't believe me? Well, then, you're an ass. But there might be hope for you just yet. Witness the evidence:

• Pasty as the sun-bleached bones of Casper the Friendly Ghost after applying Crest Whitestrips.
• Calves.
• Interesting, despite having her shit remarkably together.
• Knows more about Fangoria Magazine and everything it covers than I ever will.
• Says things like 'I think it's hot that you play D&D.' No--really.
• Watches Futurama, Family Guy, and South Park religiously.
• Thinks goofy bald guys are sexy.

Am I setting myself up to look foolish if this all blows up in my face? Sure. But if you can't be foolish and excited, what's the damn point? So yeah. She's a badassed ninja. And while yes, I am a pirate, and some of you subscribe to the archaic notion that pirates and ninjas don't get along, I'm here to get all Obama (go, Obama 2008!) on you and tell you that YES--they CAN work together in harmony. For the less creative in the house, an example: the ninjas could slit the throats of the guards, allowing the pirates to sneak in, blow shit up, and pillage. And when I'm in a pillaging mood, there's no one else I'd rather have slitting enemy throats. :)