I am bored. Mind-numbingly bored. I am also at work. These things are related.

I'm working on a piece for a very large, very boring ERP company right now. I understand that ERP is important. I do. I mean, I like to know that the Homestar Runner Yahoo store has a full supply of Strongbad action figures and Trogdor posters when I shop as much as the next guy, so I'm all about the Vendor Managed Inventory and all. I understand that creating a $4 million software megalith that even turns on is an impressive engineering feat. I understand that selling said $4 million software package is even more impressive, particularly when you toss in the $6 million in consulting it takes to get the software to work. But man--I feel tainted with drabness by touching ERP's periphery for an instant. People actually work with this shit every day. What kind of toll must that take? A couple examples of just the marketing. Golf clap with me:

Businesses that stand still are already being left behind.
If you're not integrating, you're disintegrating.

Yeah. And that's the stuff that won. Someone, somewhere at a meeting slammed his (it's ERP--it's a him, and probably a Teutonic him, at that) fist on the table and shouted "THIS IS IT! DISINTEGRATING! NOW THEY'LL BUY IT FOR SURE!" I dunno if that's better or worse than the "leveraging the new paradigm of synergistic dominance for a win-win" 1998 crap we all used to hawk, but it's bad, nonetheless.

I was going to go to the gym tonight. I still might. But after having my brain washed with this garbage, I need to fill it up with something naughty and vile and whiny and perverse again so I can get back to normal. So I'm headed to The Improv to see my pal Jessica rant about penises or farts or boobs or something.