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March 27, 2007

Wintess the Stupidity

Who's Yer Savior, Baby?I believe that if you're gonna do something, you should do your best to be good at it. Put in a little effort. Do your homework. Whatever it is--golf, cooking, or, in this case, door-to-door missionary work. 2 Jehovah's Witnesses showed up at my door this morning, inviting me to "a party to celebrate the miracle of Jesus' death." A few things jumped out at me:

1) It's 9:00 AM.
2) Jesus' death--not a miracle.
3) Party? Jehovah's Witnesses don't have parties. By design. And even if they did, death parties? Sign me up.

March 26, 2007

Slovakian Princess: Reveal Thyself!

So apparently, I have a hot Slovakian supermodel stalking me. I don't normally go for blondes, and she looks like her calves are a bit skinny, but I'm flattered by the attention, really.

Vitajte, Adriana Sklenaríková! Dakujem, mam sa dobre. Prosim si bravcovo-hovadzi gulas!1

OK, so maybe she's not the stalker, but I do have a visitor from Slovakia, and a focused one, at that. S/he got to the site by searching Slovakian Google for "www.cormac.com" -- that's a supermodel who knows what she wants. Or maybe it's Andy Warhol. That's the end of my "famous Slovakian" list.

1Welcome, Adriana Sklenaríkova! I'm fine, thank you. Pork and beef goulash, please! -- I know all the really important stuff.

March 25, 2007

Ouch?

14 miles-done. Hip flexors-ow. Running-still not fun.

That said, I feel better than I did after 8 miles a few months ago, so that's progress.

Other notes:

  • Weird craving for pierogis and kielbasa with fried onions and cabbage at around mile 5.
  • I really need to stretch my hip flexors more. I've been ignoring my own trainerly advice.
  • Arcade Fire was responsible for my fastest mile of the night.

Now off to a much-needed shower so someone other than my dog can love me again.

March 24, 2007

CheeseFest '07™

Those of you who know me are probably already aware of the gift certificate to idealcheese.com I got from my mother last year. And if you don't know me, why are you reading this? At any rate, a gift certificate I got and a gift certificate I used--with authority. The results?

  • Cacio De Roma (like a mild Manchego)
  • Fiscalini Farmstead Cheddar (nice and sharp)
  • Fresh Mozzarella (amazing on pizza)
  • Havarti (1 pound of creamy goodness)
  • 18 month aged Manchego (not too salty, with a mild amount of bite)

and for good measure,

  • Oven Roasted Tomatoes with Garlic and Olive Oil (stupidly good solo, on bread, or on pizza)

The CheeseFest™ has been going on for a week, and it should come to a close this evening. Special shout-outs to:

  • The Sumerians, for accidentally curdling milk in 4500 BC.
  • My Mom, for kicking this whole thing off with the best present since my water bed.
  • Doctor Cheese, for showing me that Barbarella and Havarti make the perfect dinner.

I think CheeseFest '07.5™ may be on the way.

Harnessing the Power of Shame

I swear I should have been born Jewish. Or Asian. Or a Red Sox first baseman. Because man--my guilt-motivation runs deep.

I've come to terms with it, though, and I've actually begun to fill my sails with the winds of compunction. Leave me to myself and I'll get a lot of sleep. Maybe a little TiVo on a good day. Give me the possibility of letting down others, though, and all of a sudden I'm Alex Keaton on speed (and yes, someone transcribed that by hand). That's why I committed to a marathon, and it's why, this afternoon, I signed on for an improv class over at ACME.

Every year around tax-time, I send tens of thousands of dollars (not many tens, but still plural) to The Man™ (the benefits of self-employment tax), and I generally indulge in a token retail therapy session to make that dark time a little brighter. I came very close to picking up a new iPod, but I realized that an iPod is just a thing, and things don't generally make you happy. I also realized that an iPod is a $300 Walkman, which seems effing silly in its own right, but for the sake of the story, let's ignore that.

So anyway, I was having a Buddhist moment when I realized I wanted an experience rather than an object. The Phoebe Cates experience has been closed since March 5, 1989 and I don't have the vacation time for Prague, so improv class it is. And anyway, a class might actually get me back into the creative swing of things in a way that Prague or Phoebe (well, at least Prague) might not. This will be my first long-form improv experience, so it will be a nice change from the Theatresports format. More as it comes. If this takes off as it should, I'll have my assistant update you.

Half Marathons are for Chump-Ass Bitches

This weekend, my long run goes up to 14 miles (rough run plan here), and I'm not looking forward to it. This will be the first time I've passed the 13.1-mile half marathon mark--a plus or minus, depending how you spin it. Details to come, I'm sure.