It's been some time since I updated the blog. Let's have a brief recap, shall we?

My new niece is growing up.

My new girlfriend continues to stick around and lick my skull (see above-right). She kicks ass like a dual-Thunderfury ninja on energy drinks.

My unemployment is over. I now know many more central Asian parables than before, thanks to Dr. Boris Krakov, my Uzbeki spirit guide.

Sketch comedy continues, and I should be performing at the LA Comedy Fest if nothing explodes.

And a great big WTF to the writers of BSG. How dare you do what you did when you did that thing that you did? I'm trying to avoid spoiling it for anyone who hasn't seen it, but doods--you halved the female eye candy in about 4 minutes. How dare you? And without any Summer Glau or Jewel Staite for me to fall back on. Cruel.

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Also, this:

Black Guy Asks Nation for Change

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Moses was high.

And never forget:

Jesus was gay.

Cormac is happy.

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MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- Gary Gygax, who co-created the fantasy game Dungeons & Dragons and helped start the role-playing phenomenon, died Tuesday morning at his home in Lake Geneva. He was 69.

He had been suffering from health problems for several years, including an abdominal aneurysm, said his wife, Gail Gygax.

Gygax and Dave Arneson developed Dungeons & Dragons in 1974 using medieval characters and mythical creatures. The game known for its oddly shaped dice became a hit, particularly among teenage boys, and eventually was turned into video games, books and movies.

Gygax always enjoyed hearing from the game's legion of devoted fans, many of whom would stop by the family's home in Lake Geneva, about 55 miles southwest of Milwaukee, his wife said. Despite his declining health, he hosted weekly games of Dungeons & Dragons as recently as January, she said.

"It really meant a lot to him to hear from people from over the years about how he helped them become a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, what he gave them," Gygax said. "He really enjoyed that."

Dungeons & Dragons players create fictional characters and carry out their adventures with the help of complicated rules. The quintessential geek pastime, it spawned a wealth of copycat games and later inspired a whole genre of computer games that's still growing in popularity.

Funeral arrangements are pending. Besides his wife, Gygax is survived by six children.

From http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/03/04/obit.gygax.ap/index.html

We'll miss you, Gary. You made it OK to be a geek like me, and that means a lot.

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Baby girl, 8 pounds, 2 ounces, 20.5 inches.
Born at exactly 6:00 PM Ireland-time.

Mom and baby are doing great. Fi was in labor for 13 hours, without a scream, grunt or anything of the sort. There was one "ouch," and another, calmly-spoken "Oh my god this hurts." No name yet. Pictures to follow.

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UPDATE: Understatement of the Year:

So at 12:08 AM PST, I received the following text message from Sister Fi:

In labor now about three hours. Guess I should wake up mom and Michael for hospital pretty soon.

Gee. Ya think? ;-)

Good luck in there. Love ya!

So my niece or nephew is due to show up today. I'm assuming he or she is so full of the local Irish charm that s/he's late, but for all the returning of my text messages that goes on these days from across the pond, the little one could already be out, walking, talking, and college-educated. Bwahaha. Actually, I don't even know if I'm using the right number, with all those damn zeros and country codes those silly foreigners make you use.

You can read more about the strange journey of Little Baby Doe (they still don't have a name) on Sister Fi's blog. In other family-related news, my "Deep and Soulful" (not my quote) Uncle Jim, AKA The Attorney-At-Love, was just interviewed in the Arizona Daily Star. You can also bring that voice to your local book club via speakerphone (or in person, if you live in AZ) by contacting him through his Web site.

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I still don't have one.

This is not all bad. First, it allows me plenty of time to go to the gym, drive down to see the gal, and post blog updates that only my mom will read. Second, it frees me from the shackles of at least one defining attribute, allowing me to return to that unkinetic, Lloyd Dobbleresque state in which I am full of potential and kickboxing is the 'sport of the future.'

Two irons in the fire at the moment. One iron required me to write a sample that took 3 days, then add an additional section that took another 2. I'm no math whiz these days (see 'potential,' above), but I think that adds up to a work week, sans pay. I'll keep you posted on that. The other is a telecommuting gig working for an alternative (non-credit card) payment processing company in Europe. Let's hope for business trips to the home office, shall we?

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It's been a long time since I've posted, so my update will be in chunks, necessarily focusing this blog more than usual. So enjoy it. The ADD returns soon.

I feel almost guilty mentioning this, since several of my friends are going through breakups at the moment, but what the hell. Here's my attempt to balance the scales. About a month ago, I started dating a gal, and she's kinda fantastic. Don't believe me? Well, then, you're an ass. But there might be hope for you just yet. Witness the evidence:

• Pasty as the sun-bleached bones of Casper the Friendly Ghost after applying Crest Whitestrips.
• Calves.
• Interesting, despite having her shit remarkably together.
• Knows more about Fangoria Magazine and everything it covers than I ever will.
• Says things like 'I think it's hot that you play D&D.' No--really.
• Watches Futurama, Family Guy, and South Park religiously.
• Thinks goofy bald guys are sexy.

Am I setting myself up to look foolish if this all blows up in my face? Sure. But if you can't be foolish and excited, what's the damn point? So yeah. She's a badassed ninja. And while yes, I am a pirate, and some of you subscribe to the archaic notion that pirates and ninjas don't get along, I'm here to get all Obama (go, Obama 2008!) on you and tell you that YES--they CAN work together in harmony. For the less creative in the house, an example: the ninjas could slit the throats of the guards, allowing the pirates to sneak in, blow shit up, and pillage. And when I'm in a pillaging mood, there's no one else I'd rather have slitting enemy throats. :)

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...and let it begin with me.

Old home:

New(ish) home:

That's what you get for letting The Whalers go to Flahrida.

And on an unrelated note, thank you, Wyatt Doyle, for providing me with the opportunity to thank your former classmate, Tina Fey, for this pic. You are, indeed, a noble friend.

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Hell. Yes.

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